Think like a monk by Jay Shetty
chapter 1, Part2: NEGATIVITY
Summary
• It is impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
— Daisaku Ikeda
• 👉 “Cancers of the Mind:
Comparing, Complaining, Criticizing.”
•ðŸ‘‰ All sorts of negative thoughts comes to ur mind whenever there is disturbance to our PEACE(comfort) ,LOVE & UNDERSTANDING(degradation).
• I think even over estimation ( hero attitude) is also attributed to above 3 things.
• Instead of overcoming these thoughts of we indulge in it and play victim cards, then we're are hurting ourselves in a long run( stress harmone can cause lot of damages like tolling immune system,affecting reasoning and memory).
• 👉 Groupthink bias:- humans feel naturally to be part of a herd due to this, even though they know what's right and what's wrong still they go with what majority says just to be accepted by group.
If the group is filled with people who practice bad habits then even we start doing it just so people don't think we're different and keeps us away.
•ðŸ”´ 7 categories of negative people
Complainers, like the friend on the phone, who complain endlessly without looking for solutions. Life is a problem that will be hard if not impossible to solve.
Cancellers, who take a compliment and spin it: “You look good today” becomes “You mean I looked bad yesterday?”
Casualties, who think the world is against them and blame their problems on others.
Critics, who judge others for either having a different opinion or not having one, for any choices they’ve made that are different from what the critic would have done.
Commanders, who realize their own limits but pressure others to succeed. They’ll say, “You never have time for me,” even though they’re busy as well.
Competitors, who compare themselves to others, controlling and manipulating to make themselves or their choices look better. They are in so much pain that they want to bring others down. Often we have to play down our successes around these people because we know they can’t appreciate them.
Controllers, who monitor and try to direct how their friends or partners spend time, and with whom, and what choices they make.
• Everyone has different experience bcuz of which some play victim card and some overcome it. Nobody wakes up everyday thinking of ruining themselves.
• Don’t judge someone with a different disease(issue for being negative). Don’t expect anyone to be perfect. Don’t think you are perfect.
•ðŸ‘‰ how to deal with external negativity
Become an objective observer:-
When u find negativity outside, instead of becoming a victim of it, step back emotionally and look and the root of the prblm and try to find solutions with postive mindset.
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”
•ðŸ‘‰ How to deal with internal negativity
• The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.
• To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing, and amending.
• I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amendour behavior—we swap in a new way of processing the moment. SPOT, STOP, SWAP.
• The Bhagavad Gita describes three gunas, or modes of life: tamas, rajas, and
sattva, which represent “ignorance,” “impulsivity,” and “goodness.”
✓🔴 Takeways:-
The grass is greener in areas, where its watered.
Negativity either the one which we experience from outside or the one which we put (our inside) into world, nothing good comes from it.
So avoid it.
Never complain compare or critize anyone.
Follow spot, stop and swap technique.
Never even comment on others fault.
If ur genuinely irritated cuz of someone just tell them directly not to others.
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